Page 2 of Funny Cop, PI, Fire Fighter or Rescue Jokes Page.
That's a hot one!
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside a local chemical plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from the whole county.
After fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!"
As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, the president of the company offered $100,000 to the engine company that could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. To everyone's amazement the little fire engine raced through the Chemical plant gates and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. In the distance the other firemen watched as the old timers hopped off of their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before.
After an hour of intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. Joyous, the chemical company president announced that he would double the reward to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the volunteers. After thanking each of the old men individually, the president asked the group what they intended to do with the reward money.
The volunteer fire chief looked him right in the eye and said, "The first thing we're going to do is fix the dang brakes on that truck!"
All righty then
The company president called the chief security guard into his office.
"Chuck, we've received a complaint from one of the employees that you are
making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don't
belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop." Chuck looked down at
his feet and mumbled, "I'm sorry, Sir. I won't' do it again." The company
president said, "I'm sure Ms. Jones will be happy to hear that." Chuck's
face lit up. "Ms Jones?!!!! I was afraid that Bob in Accounting was
complaining!!!!"
Lawyer and cop jokes together...love it
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room
Submitted as the new Miranda
1. No, I don't care who you are.
2. No, I don't care who you know.
3. Yes... you DO pay my salary.
4. Yes... you CAN have my job.
5. No, I don't have anything better to do.
6. Yes, I DO arrest real criminals sometimes.
7. No, I am not picking on you because you are _____________ (fill in some ethnic group/race).
8. No, I can't give you a break.
9. No, I don't know your friend, Officer ______.
10. Yes, you will be allowed to make a phone call.
11. Yes, I'm sure you will never do it again.
12. No, we can't talk about it.
13. Yes, it DOES make me happy.
14. Yes, you WILL see me in court.
Stop Sign
This male driver blows a stop sign and a cop sees it so he pulls him over.
Cop- "License and registration please."
Driver- "For what?"
Cop - "Well, sir you didn't stop at the sign."
Driver - "I slowed down and no one was coming."
Cop- "You didn't come to a complete stop, license and registration, PLEASE!"
Driver- "What's the difference"
Cop- "The difference is I wouldn't have pulled you over if you'd stopped."
Driver- "I'll give you my license and registration if you can show me the difference between slowing down and stopping."
Cop- "Okay, I will... get out of the car."
At this point the officer takes his billy club out of the holster and begins to beat the crap out of the driver.
As the man is screaming and crying, the officer yells loudly " NOW SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SLOW DOWN OR COME TO A COMPLETE STOP?!!??"
Funny, Humorous, Hilarious, Comical Blogs Posts Stories and jokes from Cops, Police, Firefighters, Rescue Personnel, Security Guards and Private Investigators.
Pictures of Police Cars, K-9 Units, Fire Departments and Rescue Vehicles
Use these links to check out our cop, pi, firefighter joke pages
