funny cop stories
funny cop stories
Gotta Love It

A State Trooper responds to an accident and upon reaching the scene he find a woman has been throw out of the wrecked vehicle. Upon further investigation, he realizes that he knows the naked woman. He feels sorry for her and takes of his hat and puts it over her pelvic area to protect her dignity. He then continues with his investigation. After awhile, he notices that one of the EMT's keeps lifting up the hat and looking under it. The Trooper walks over to the EMT and asks him what he is doing. The EMT scratches his head and says "Trooper, that is the first time I have ever looked under one of the hats and not seen a prick."







If Lawyers Drove Ambulances

Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times. "Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged one, "we've cut our emergency response time by ten percent." "Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average time by 20 percent." "That's nothing!" said the third paramedic. "Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!"









The Beer Test

The policeman's wife came home from work and found a note from her husband. "Your doctor called and said your Pabst Beer came back alright...whatever that means."








Just a Short Quiz

Q: What's the difference between a cop car and a porcupine?

A: A porcupine has pricks on the outside

Q: How many cops does it take to get a suspect downstairs?

A: None, he fell....




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Another Blonde Joke
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."








Haning them do their dirty work

"Hello, is this FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood."

"This will be noted."

Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.

The phone rings at Tom's house. "Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yeah they did." "Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."








Cop Jokes